Why I Coach with OtO

Sheila Baker

Joined One to One in April, 2010

I first learned of One to One while attending a breakout session at the 2009 ICF Conference in Orlando. Susie Strauss was highlighting the One to One program and sharing success stories of the impact this organization was having. As a full-time corporate coach, I began considering taking on an external coaching client as a way to give back to the community while stretching my own coaching competence by incorporating some life coaching into my practice.

One of the things that attracted me to One to One was its focus on women……women who for whatever reasons were in need of support and who were determined to make changes to better their circumstances. The stage was set for both coach and client to play a role in transforming a life into one that would be more meaningful and productive. What a privilege to play a part in that transformation!

Along the way, I have discovered that One to One equally supports me as a coach as it does our coaching clients. The support, training and encouragement I have received as a volunteer coach has served to fuel my desire to give more.

For me, the mission and purpose of One to One aligns with my own personal values. The importance I place on relationships, collaboration, integrity, making a difference and a sense of belonging are all modeled and lived by the coaches that make up this phenomenal organization.

I Care For

The ICF (international coach federation) has a new project called “I Care For”.

Anyone who is a member can logon to their website www.coachfederation.org and go to the I Care For link to talk about their passion(s).

The statements will be shared on www.ICFICareFor.org and other communication channels.

Here’s what I posted about One to One:

I care for women who need a hand up and out… of poverty, domestic violence, substance abuse, isolation … but who have nowhere to turn.

I care for the non-profit One to One – Women Coaching Women, founded and run by professionally trained female coaches who volunteer their services.

I care for life coaching and how it helps these low-income, high-potential women take charge of their lives and have a powerful, positive impact on their families and communities.

Lee Sumner Irwin, PCC (USA)

WANT GROWTH? Get back to YOU - mind, spirit, body!

Live Your Life By Design

Sunday, September 12, 2010 from 9:30 AM - 4:30 PM (ET)

New York, NY

Are you a woman who wants greater satisfaction with your personal life and/or your career, but aren't sure quite how to begin?

Then devote a day entirely to you - to discovering and exploring your goals, dreams, and most heartfelt desires. Learn powerful techniques for transforming a life by default into a life you design for yourself. A life you'll be able to start creating, right away, with the proven tools and strategies you'll learn during this workshop.

Join certified life coaches Madhu Maron, Paige Continentino, and Karen Levine for the Life by Design Workshop. This one-day intensive workshop, created by women specifically for women, will help you focus on defining what you want to have, do, and be in your life - from money and success to passion, purpose, and personal growth.

Our mind, body, and spirit approach supports you in discovering what you really want and how to make it happen in your life. Holistic in concept, the workshop combines short presentations of key ideas with experiential learning opportunities. Come prepared to have fun as you make discoveries and learn to integrate these into action plans you can begin to implement right away.

During the workshop, you'll:

• Get in touch with your deepest desires.
• Set goals that match your values and desired growth.
• Create doable action plans to accomplish those goals.
• Experience the delight of being in community with other brilliant women who, like yourself, want to create more rewarding lives for themselves.

Deep shifts and transformations often occur quickly. All you have to do is be willing and jump in fully!

Dress casually and comfortably. Please bring a journal.

Early bird registrants will receive a complimentary, one-hour, follow-up coaching session.

Bonus: 10% of the proceeds for this workshop go to One to One, Women Coaching Women, an international nonprofit organization that provides pro bono life coaching services to highly motivated women who want to make a difference in and with their lives but cannot afford to engage a coach.

Your hosts are expert Life Designers.

Paige believes in harnessing the power of self awareness as a catalyst for growth and change. She transitioned mid-life from being totally focused on the needs of others and unsure of her own purpose, to finding her dream job. She has since created a life that honors both her love of helping others create deeply satisfying lives through coaching and meditation, and her desire to be an active and supportive mother. She attributes her success to her willingness to create change and her trust in her own inner guidance.

Madhu loves change and risk. She left her childhood home in suburban Michigan for an unpredictable life in New York City where she evolved a successful career in corporate Human Resources into a fulfilling life coaching practice. At the root of all these changes is a passion for, and commitment to self-connection. Her coaching practice focuses on women who wish to be more centered in themselves.

Karen lives a dynamic life of redesign and reinvention. A life and professional effectiveness coach specializing in coaching women in transition, Karen’s career has morphed from corporate America, through the advertising industry, communications consulting, freelance writing, and editing, to that of a coach who has the life experience - both the successes and battle scars - to be a wise, compassionate, and effective coach for women who want a fuller, more rewarding, more personally empowered life. When she’s not coaching or consulting, Karen is often pursuing one of her three great passions: traveling, scuba diving, and knitting

For more information: http://liveyourlifebydesign.eventbrite.com/

Excerpt from OtO's Follow Up Interviews

* OtO has been conducting interview with all past clients to gauge long-term effects of OtO's coaching program *

2. Describe what aspects of coaching were most helpful to you:

Encouraging me to trust myself and listen to myself. Be comfortable with my own thoughts and feelings

6. Please give specific examples of changes you have made in your personal and professional life or goals you have achieved as a result of your coaching relationship.

When I went to coaching the idea was to work on my education. Now I'm about to complete another degree. The coaching made me see I could do anything I set my mind too and to trust that I am ok in myself. With my work situation I better able to communicate my thoughts, take things less personality, and listen better.

8. Describe some possible ways this coaching experience could have been more useful to you.

I just really enjoyed the whole process. Because at the time I was so busy it would have been very difficult for me to leave work to meet with someone. The flexibility to meet with my coach on my schedule. The long distance was perfect.

The one thing that could make it better is if it was available to so many other people. Honestly, I got involved on a whim and think so many other people could use the support.

(With permission from Kym Robinson, OTO Client '04-'05)

Lighten UP

The Coaching Corner
By
Mary Mantei

Summer is a time of lightness in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Our days seem longer as the light of day extends late into the evening. We wear lighter clothing, perhaps eat lighter foods, and at night, we fall asleep under light coverings if anything at all. There is a sense of freedom in the many kinds of lightness we experience during this sweet season. We seem to automatically detach from many of our rituals and habits of the darker, chillier months

I wonder what lightness we could feel in our lives if we were able to detach from many of the habits and rituals we consciously or unconsciously practice. What obligations are you carrying around which weigh you down? What are you saying "yes" to these days that prevents you from using your time in a way that is completely satisfying to you and to those you love? What are you doing unconsciously because the world suggests it is the way things are done? What are you so attached to that, without it, you think you wouldn't exist in a valuable way? Musing over these questions, maybe even answering them with brutal honesty and taking action, could be a way to "lighten up" a bit . . . so that you can be more of who you really want to be in the world.

Here is a filter which might help you take a step towards lightening the load of obligation, resentment, and attachment. Pema Chodron, a Buddhist nun and teacher says, "When you do not seek or need external approval, you are at your most powerful." If you were to take Pema's quote to heart, what would you stop doing right now? What would you start doing right now? And, what would living in that way give you?

Lightening up is a path to more joy, more authenticity, and more energy to create what is truly important to you. I'll venture a guess that when you are lighter emotionally and mentally, your light shines brighter for everyone around you.

First official FRIENDRAISER

At our Spring Retreat, Tricia Schulte and Amanda Strauss unrolled the design for FriendRaising, complete with a sample invitation, invite list, script for a house party and forms for guests to fill out. The purpose for hosting a gathering of your own is to raise awareness about One to One, inform potential referral sources, and raise funds to support our organization. Susie Strauss and I decided to take advantage of a built-in time slot for some of our friends. We belong to a writing group called Women Writing (for a change) – pun intended. Our last class of the semester was approaching so we told our friends that we would be sending them an invitation to come and learn about an organization that we are passionate about. Susie sent an E-Vite which made it easy to see who was coming. We explained to anyone we spoke to that there would be an opportunity to make a contribution (at the party or at a later date) but none was necessary. We met at Susie’s home and offered coffee and iced tea plus muffins, cheese and crackers, and veggies with dip. We had seven guests.

We began with our personal stories of involvement in One to One. Then we showed the DVD and entertained questions. Our group included women who care deeply about women and the conversation was lively. There was interest in our clients but also the organization itself – particularly that it is designed and run by women for women.

What we learned:

1. It is EASY to generate excitement about One to One – particularly using the elegantly designed template created by Trish and Amanda.
2. Move swiftly to the DVD – it answers most of the basic questions that people are curious about and leaves time for them to ask the unanswered questions which leads to a deeper exchange.
3. The dreaded “ask” (for those of us who avoid fund raising) flowed naturally and our guests DID contribute generously. The fact that they knew and we knew it would have been a success merely to have spread the word removed any awkwardness or pressure.

Next week we have a second gathering scheduled. My daughter is a social worker at Children’s Hospital here in Birmingham. After hearing about the Friend-Raisers, she asked me if we would invite her staff to come and learn about One to One. She sent an e-vite to her staff making the connection between us evident. This will no doubt have a different feel since we don’t know the group personally, but they work with women in dire straits all day every day. I look forward to learning from them about the needs that they see. We are meeting after work for a wine and cheese party. Feedback to follow…..

Meredith A. Titus

2010 Annual Coaches Retreat

The 2010 Coaches’ Professional Development Weekend was a huge success, thanks to all those who helped plan and facilitate, as well our wonderful attendees. From the lovely connections made between new friends and old, the “dangerous” trainings, the wild dance party, to the delicious food and nurturing provided by the staff at Blue Springs Manor, the weekend together supported us in filling ourselves up so that we may continue to provide our awesome service as OtO coaches. We hope to see those we missed this year at next year’s CPDW!

- Coco Rosenblatt-Farrell

Walking My Talk

This has been a very snowy winter all around the country, and particularly for us here in North Carolina, where a typical winter's snowfall is about 2 inches or less. We had a couple of days with impassible streets and many more with not much to speak of on the roads, but schools still cancelled or opening late. My son Harrison enjoyed sledding in our backyard and having our dog, Jake, pretend he was Balto, the sled dog. The snow was beautiful to look at and fun to play in, but after a few days even Harrison was getting tired of it. Twice, I drove him to school on seemingly clear roads only to find that schools were opening late - no doubt due to icier roads somewhere else in the county. I fell into a loop of complaining and grumbling - about the wimpy Southern drivers and the overly-cautious school officials, all of whom were throwing a monkey wrench into my plans for the day. It took me more than a week, but I finally heard myself - going on and on about something that wasn't the end of the world and that I couldn't control anyhow. I was definitely not walking my talk. Whether each and every closing or delay was warranted was beside the point. I wasn't behaving in a very constructive way. Once I realized what I was doing, it didn't take long before I had found ways to stop being a victim to the circumstances and was back to enjoying life as it was. Knowing an empowering way to live and actually doing it don't always go hand in hand 100% of the time, but having some tools and belief systems that work for you can make the time it takes you to self-correct a little shorter. It's only early March and we may not be out of the woods yet as far as snowy weather goes, but if we do get any more, at least I'll have a better attitude about it. I've also learned another valuable lesson - to check in on the school schedule before heading out the door, no matter how bright the sun or how the clear the roads around my neighborhood.

Laura G. Luykx, One to One Coach

Writing a Case for Peer Supervision

Scary, risking, being vulnerable
Building self-responsibility muscle
Release to nail the anxiety.... AND THEN
Supported by a strong safety net
Learning again about my humanity
Fueling to go back into session
Where client (and I ) SOAR
Also, deepening support with fellow coaches
Manifesting an act toward wholeness

By Caryn Corenblum

Welcome to the 2010 OtO Board!

Each year at this time, there is a lot of excitement for the OtO board as new members are welcomed and transitioned to the board and its functions. So meet the 2010 OtO board members - Anna Dailey, Elizabeth Fowler, Zoe Hamstead, Susan Hayward, Penny Hazen, Tricia Schulte, Susie Strauss, Marti Woodward and Lyn Young.

Anna is our ‘silent’ board member. She is an attorney in West Virginia and acts as an outside observer to the activities of the board and One to One as a whole.

Elizabeth, a board member since 2008, has brought her commitment to professionalism to the board. She is the chairperson of the Professionalism Committee and organized the Peer Supervision groups, assisted in the restructuring of the OtO mentoring and the review of OtO client and coach paperwork.

Zoe, a former client, has just joined the board this February. She hails from North Carolina and is presently residing in Chicago with her husband Sean. She will be formerly introduced in the March newsletter.

Susan, a former board member for 3 years, has just rejoined the board. She is the board liaison with the Coaches Professional Development Committee and is a very active member of the Fundraising Committee and Professionalism Committee. She led the effort to create and execute the Life by Design workshops.

Penny, a board member since 2008, has taken on the co-chair of the Marketing Committee. She was one of a couple of individuals who develop the Life by Design Workshop.

Tricia joined the board in 2009 and is the co-chairperson of the Fundraising Committee and Marketing Committee. She brings her previous experience with non-profits and fund development to OtO and the board.

Susie, co-founder and director of OtO, has held the vision of OtO from the beginning and co-chairs the Fundraising Committee and actively participates in several other committees.

Marti, a OtO board member since the board was formed in 2005, is the chairperson of the Training Committee and is an active participant on the Professionalism Committee. She is also the individual who spearheaded the creation and development of the OtO Coaching Model.

Lynn has joined the board as of February 2010. She lives in Colorado Springs, CO with her husband. She has had coach training and community organizing experience. She will be formally introduced in the March newsletter.

The board meets every month on a 1 ½ hour conference call to discuss administrative, financial, training, marketing, professionalism and fundraising matters. And we meet for 1 ½ days for a board retreat right after the Coaches Professional Development Weekend. Please meet and greet our new and present board members at the CPDW!!!

- Susie

One to One Client Reflects

One to One, Women Coaching Women, is a service that is so valuable I’d like to tell every woman, young and old of its worth.

No matter your age, the obstacles you face, or the goals you have, a certified, licensed coach can help you work through to a much higher level of success.

When I first became aware of One to One, I immediately began making contacts for someone from their organization to come to our small town to hold a workshop. I could think of many women who would benefit from this service.

A date was set and preparations were made for the workshop. Before the workshop date arrived I landed in the local ER and the next day moved to the Asheville Heart Tower. From a knee injury, blood clots had moved to my heart and lungs.

A few weeks after I got home I began Physical Therapy. My body was beginning to move around easier but I felt like my mind was flat-lined. How would I ever get back up and work, how would I continue anything? I knew I would never be able to fill my days with the negativity of television. It looked like a long road of recovery ahead.

I had the manuscript of my first novel in my computer but did not know how to go about self-publishing. This was my opportunity to begin working on it, but it seemed too big a task to think about.

Then I remembered One to One, and the workshop that had been cancelled, so I called Susie Strauss and asked to be considered for coaching sessions. She set up a conference call with the perfect coach for me.

I knew from the start that Susan (my coach) would provide just the motivational push I needed. In our sessions each week, Susan would keep me focused on necessary steps to move me forward in three major areas; my novel, health, and returning to social life.

With Susan cheering me on, and my good friend, Ronda, helping me with all the technical steps to self-publish, I now have my first novel published.

I am so very grateful for the services of One to One. I knew I needed what they offered and I could never have afforded that kind of mental and emotional support any other way.

Thank you, Susan, Susie, and all of One to One, Women Coaching Women.

Alice Blanton

Author: Tell Me No Lies

Little Bit Publishing

November 2009

Journey of a Dreamer

by Stephanie Lyas
Past OTO Client

Since I was a child, The Wizard of Oz has been one of my favorite movies. The story of the girl from humble beginnings trying to “find her way” is much like my own. Like Dorothy, I was desperately searching for things outside myself that I thought would make my life complete- only to discover that I possessed those things all along. All I needed to be happy and successful were already inside of me. It wasn’t until I experienced life coaching that that truth was revealed to me in a profound way. And I can earnestly say that my life has changed for the better. Great things are happening all the time! Probably the accomplishment of which I’m proudest is the recent publication of my book, Dwelling Places: a Poetic Journey through the Heart.

I compare my journey toward completing the book to Dorothy’s quest to reach The Emerald City. Though she faced great obstacles along the way, she got there. Perhaps the most important part is that she didn’t do it alone. She had help from her loyal friends, The Scarecrow, The Tin Man and The Lion. Although encumbered by their own personal weaknesses, their common focus was to help Dorothy reach her goal. And in the end, they discovered incredible things about themselves, too.

That, in essence, is what coaching has done for me. There are few words that can describe the “ripple effect” of blessings that have come from my coaching experience. My greatest joy, however, is sharing my testimony with others with the hope of encouraging them to overcome obstacles and do extraordinary things.


Looking back on my journey, it is difficult to pick which of the three companions best
describes my coach, because like any good companion, she possesses the attributes of all
three- wisdom, courage and heart. To witness those forces at work in my own life is another blessing for which I will always be thankful.


Whether or not Dorothy would have made it to Oz without her friends remains to be seen. But one thing is certain- the trip would have been much harder, and not nearly as exciting! True friends are invaluable. Coaches who really care are priceless. Like Dorothy, I have discovered on this amazing journey that “the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.”


© Stephanie Lyas. 2009

POWERFUL Questions

The Coaching Corner

By

Mary Mantei

One of the tools life coaches seek to use effectively is powerful questioning. A powerful question invites an individual to move to a deeper level of discovery or learning. A well-placed question can create greater possibility or perhaps a clearer vision for whoever we are in conversation with. A truly powerful question will not elicit a yes or no answer; rather it is open-ended to encourage reflection and creativity.

A hope I have for clients is that during and after the coaching relationship, they will learn to ask themselves powerful questions. I want them to be able to “self-coach” to extend the value of the coaching experience. As we step into 2010, into the next decade, we will have many opportunities to consider, many problems to solve or manage, and many decisions to make, which may have a simple or profound affect on our lives and the lives of others. Following are a few powerful questions which might assist you in exploring your options in a thoughtful, appreciative manner this coming Year.

If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to?

Examples of when you might want to ask yourself this question are;

Spending a large sum of money on an item or an experience

Saying yes to a request to voluntarily commit your time

Staying in a relationship which is not serving you well

What does _________________________ cost me? (Fill in the blank)

Examples:

What does my constant lateness cost me?

What does denial of my health issues cost me?

What does my desire to be honest with those I love cost me?

What options can I create?

When faced with a problem or dilemma, we often act on the first answer we land on. This question encourages us to spend time generating beyond the first solution or option and give ourselves potentially a better option or a backup plan. We feel less resigned with more options to select from and Plan B’s to turn to.

I encourage you to ask yourself one of these questions when the time is right and see where your mind and imagination take you. Eugene Ionesco, Romanian-born playright, was onto something when he said, “It’s not the answer that enlightens, but the question”.

OTO Presents at International Coaching Federation Annual Convention

One World, Many Doors – How YOUR unique coaching can Change the World TODAY!

December 4, 2009

Is the title of the collaborative panel presentation that One to One will be participating in at the ICF annual conference in Orlando this weekend. Joining me on the panel is Stephen Garber, with Third Level. This is an executive coaching, for-profit company that provides team and individual coaching with two companies in Belfast, Ireland. The third presenter is Fuyuo Sato, a coach in Japan who provides coaching to teachers in a local middle school. The purpose of this breakout session is to encourage and inspire attending coaches to think beyond their ‘coaching box’. We want them to consider how they can take their passion for, and skills of, coaching into new and different realms and to create positive change in the world. Besides telling the three stories of how we have been inspired and then moved to action with our coaching, Susie Strauss, the Founder and Director of One to One will be leading the participants in a exercise entitled ‘Opening Spaces for Hidden Dreams’, asking the them to identify what they really care about, what they could dare to do and how they could share their coaching with others to make an impact. The session will be on Friday morning starting at 11 am.

In addition, Caryn Corenblum and Susie Strauss are planning an informal gathering of OtO coaches in Orlando (stay tuned for details). It will be great to see everyone who is attending the conference!

Hear from OTO Coaches

Inquiries from the October OTO Conference Call

October 20, 2009

Each month OTO holds a training call for its Coaches. This is a opportunity for the coaches both to keep their skills fresh and create community. The October Call was entitled: Preparing Your Client to be Coached. Each call starts with an inquiry, a question that opens the conversation and sets the tone for the training session. Below you'll find some of our Coaches answers to this month's Inquiry.

What do I believe is essential for a client to know or understand as she begins the coaching experience in order for her to receive the most benefit from the relationship?

Marti – It is essential for the client to know that it is her agenda every call.

Leila – This is not a place for her to get led, but for her to be in constant question of “what do I want”. And that I am there to help facilitate that process but not answer that question.

Holly – To know there isn’t anything they can say that is wrong

Susan – All the same AND I really let the client know that they are the expert on themselves.

Debbie – They can always to authentic and true to themselves.

Vickie – Echo AND It is important for my client to know that it is a safe space for them

Sally – Client needs to know that her agenda come out of her dreams, and hope, and vision.

Kay – Building on the idea that agenda comes from the client, I want the client to know that the agenda for the content comes from them and that my agenda is about calling forth their highest self.

Lee – The most essential thing for the client to know is that I show up for the calls knowing that she is brilliant, loving, capable, and that she doesn’t need to be fixed.

Laura – I want the client to understand that I don’t have any magic beans (sometimes they think that they do) and that this is a process. In the process we are going to uncover that if there are any magic beans, that she has them in herself.

Penny – I want the client to know that This time is held as a sacred space for her and that protecting it is very important to me and to her. Because I want to give her my undivided attention and have her undivided attention for an hour so she can explore herself.

Susie – I really work on giving her, my client, whatever she wants as best as I am able to. So, encourage her to really ask for what she wants during our sessions.

Terry – I want the client to know that it’s a safe place for her to explore her own wisdom.

About: Mission, process, successes...

Our Mission

One To One Women Coaching Women is a 501(C)(3) non-profit organization dedicated to assisting women to achieve sustained success by creating positive changes in their lives. We target our services to eligible women by providing a safe and affirming coaching relationship in which individual dreams and desires can be translated into practical, realistic, and actionable life plans.

Our Clientele

We serve women in transition from challenging social and/or economic backgrounds or situations across the US and Canada. These women may have participated in transitional programs where they received skills training and assistance in meeting basic needs. Women in transition often find themselves overwhelmed with the obligations, choices, and responsibilities they face. The presence of an additional supportive relationship makes it easier for them to move forward in their lives in a successful manner.

Our Process

Our clients are paired with a professional Life Coach for 26 weekly sessions over a 6 to 7 month period. The sessions are conducted over the telephone for a minimum of 30 minutes per call. Our coaches provide life coaching to assist the clients in discovering what they want in all areas of their lives. Clients learn through these partnerships that they can access support networks while also relying on their own decision-making skills. The Life Coaches listen without judgment and to provide feedback and support, while staying committed to the client’s own agenda.

Our Successes

Our clients report that by being treated as an expert on their own lives and developing additional problem-solving skills, they are able to make decisions that positively impact their lives. They also create a working “life plan” that helps them be proactive and focused when making choices and decisions in their daily lives.

í “Life coaching helped me to believe in myself and to step out a bit more than I was used to in order to lay a foundation for the next part of my life.”

í ”She is the ultimate mentor, cheerleader and supporter. This is an awesome experience. To call it life-changing is an understatement.”

í “She is the Hope Fairy. She does not judge, instead keeps telling me that those things that seem so far out of my reach, just seem that way. That I deserve to be safe and happy. That I can have healthy relationships.”

Our Achievements

Since we started coaching in the fall of 2004, we have coached over 100 women and conducted 2 years of monthly Success Strategies calls for our coaches and clients, 2 years of monthly training and community development calls for our coaches. We have received approval to award ICF CCE’s for our monthly Coaches’ Community Calls and the three Annual Coaches’ Professional Development Weekends we have held. The Coaches’ Connection, a monthly e-newsletter for our coaches, provides networking opportunities for our coaching community, along with keeping them informed about One to One programs and services. 2008 found us creating and facilitating a 6 hour workshop series entitled, Life by Design. One to One has created a unique non-profit model that also includes mentoring and peer supervision.

“We believe that once a woman feels empowered and gains confidence in her self, she can be a change agent for her family, her community and the world.”

If you are an interested coach, have a client referral or would like to be a donor, please refer to our website (www.onetoone.info) for more information.

Coaching vs. Therapy

How Life Coaching Differs From Therapy

Life Coaching can be distinguished from therapy in a number of ways. First, coaching is a profession that supports personal and professional growth and development based on individual-initiated change in pursuit of specific actionable outcomes. These outcomes are linked to personal or professional success. Life Coaching is forward moving and future focused. Therapy, on the other hand, deals with healing pain, dysfunction and conflict within an individual or a relationship between two or more individuals. The focus is often on resolving difficulties arising from the past which hamper an individual's emotional functioning in the present, improving overall psychological functioning, and dealing with present life and work circumstances in more emotionally healthy ways. Therapy outcomes often include improved emotional/feeling states. While positive feelings/emotions may be a natural outcome of life coaching, the primary focus is on creating actionable strategies for achieving specific goals in one's work or personal life. The emphases in a life coaching relationship are on action, accountability and follow through.

- International Coach Federation

What is Life Coaching?

The Coaching Corner

- Mary Mantei, OTO Coach

The scenario: You are socializing with a group of people, several of whom you do not know. Inevitably, the standard question is asked, “So, what do you do for a living?” The easiest time in my life to answer this query was when I was teaching middle school students. Most people understand teaching and most are amazed that anyone would choose to teach kids this age, and from all appearances, love it! Which I did. These days, the answer to the same question, elicits everything from strange looks to a high level of interest. With good reason. I now spend my days coaching individuals who have sought the assistance of a life coach, a relatively new career in the wide array of helping professions.

So, for those of you interested in knowing more about life coaching, let me stretch my verbal business card a bit. Coaching is a collaborative, confidential partnership whereby the coach assists the client in figuring out what they want in all areas of their life and works with them to create multiple action plans to achieve those desires. Initially, people often seek a coach around one area of their lives where they feel stuck or challenged and have not been able to move themselves forward. Common examples would be job-related frustrations, desiring improved health and vitality, money management issues, seeking more adventure, fun, or balance in their lives. Many people work with a coach to navigate huge life changes effectively such as creating their own business, moving from being part of a couple to being single, or retirement.

A coach will use a variety of tools and strategies to guide their client to get clear about where they are currently in life and where they want to be. One tool that a skilled coach will use consistently is listening. Listening to you without making assumptions, rather taking you at your word and asking questions to clarify what they might not yet understand. Listening to you without judgment, rather holding the space for you to be your authentic self as a way of seeing a situation for what it is. Listening without giving advice, rather as a way to aid a person to get increasingly clear through feedback around what they want. Given the world we live in, this type of listening is a precious practice and a rare gift. Some folks will say, “Well, I have lots of friends who do that for me,” or “My sisters are always there to listen to what I want.” I say, “Great!” And yet, my experience is that those who know and love us dearly often have an agenda when they listen to us. And that agenda often has something to do with how they view the world or how they would like us to be and is often delivered to us in the form of advice. In a coaching relationship, the agenda belongs to the client. The only agenda item the coach holds is seeing their clients get exactly what THEY want in life.

Once a client is clear about the direction they want to pursue, the coach assists the client in developing multiple action plans to get where they want to go. Adding details to the client’s plans gives them a roadmap to their desired destination. Too often, when we have a goal we want to reach, we rely on one road to get us there. If we get detoured and find ourselves moving away from our goals, discouragement and resignation may stop us from continuing on and achieving what we want. Having multiple ideas to try gives us other options that may work more effectively for us. And your coach is there to support you and celebrate with you throughout the process.

Coaching is not about “fixing” people, rather it is about helping people who are in good shape create an even richer, more wonderful life. Consider the Olympic athlete who seeks out a coach. These athletes appear to us to be as fine-tuned as they come, and yet, they pursue the assistance of a coach to finesse the abilities and assets they currently possess. Similarly, I see my clients as capable, creative, brilliant human beings who desire to create an even higher quality of life. I assist them in using their skills, knowledge, and heart to gain clarity around their desires, generate new ideas for achieving those desires and create multiple action plans to go after those desires.

Most life coaching sessions take place on the phone, allowing people to be coached from anywhere in the world. A typical session lasts 30 – 60 minutes, once or twice a week, usually totaling around four hours per month. At times, clients may meet with their coach face-to-face for half day or full day planning sessions. Sometimes, clients will check-in with a quick email to celebrate any number of things or the coach may email a client with a word of support between calls. It is a flexible process and is determined by the client and coach together.

Dave Ellis, my friend and teacher, asserts that life coaching is “more than a set of techniques, it is a form of relationship that is both confidential and life-changing.” I have both witnessed and experienced how the coaching relationship can move people quickly from problems to solutions, from insights to action, from the status quo to completely new outcomes in their lives. It is a tool for self-expansion. And when we are in good shape, we position ourselves to contribute more fully to our families, friends, careers, communities, and the world.

Mary Mantei is a certified Life/Effectiveness Coach and sole proprietor of Superior Coaching Unlimited. She also provides pro bono coaching to One-to-One Women Coaching Women, a non-profit organization providing life coaching for women in transition. Mary is collaborating with Region 13 Educational Service Center, Austin TX, developing “Coaching for School Leaders . . . Developing the Brilliance Within,” a coach training program designed to assist leaders in the world of education to create organizations and schools where critical conversations and actions shape cultures of learning, achievement and personal success for all. mmantei@jamadots.com

the birth of One to One

How do you take an idea, a dream and a passion and create a viable organization and program? In my case it came from a phrase I’d written on 3X5 card and the desire to see many women receive life coaching, especially those women who due to financial constraints couldn’t afford to hire a coach. So began One to One Women Coaching Women, the non-profit that I co-created with two other life coaches. We wanted to create a coaching program that supported woman who were struggling, or had come from difficult life backgrounds, and who really wanted their lives to become filled with their hopes and passons. We wanted to provide life coaches to these women so that there would be someone to truly listen to them. And someone who would honor to their dreams and desires and do so in a way that truly respected their inner brilliance and their ability to create what they wanted in their lives.

After many long teleconference calls and a couple of marathon in-person planning sessions, One to One was birthed in the summer of 2004 when we invited 17 other female life coaches to join us in providing coaching to deserving women across the US and Canada. And we asked them to join us as a volunteer and almost everyone agreed to participate in this new and untested program!

Five years later, we are a strong community of female coaches providing free life coaching to women who couldn’t afford to hire their own coach. We have coached over 100 women – pretty amazing for a group of professionally trained coaches who volunteer their time and services!

Go to our website at www.onetoone.info to find out more about our program and how it works.

And join us in the birth of our new blog – where we will have entries about client successes, stories about our coaches, and information about coaching for everyone.

Welcome!

Susie Strauss, Director and Founder of OtO: Women Coaching Women