Lighten UP

The Coaching Corner
By
Mary Mantei

Summer is a time of lightness in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Our days seem longer as the light of day extends late into the evening. We wear lighter clothing, perhaps eat lighter foods, and at night, we fall asleep under light coverings if anything at all. There is a sense of freedom in the many kinds of lightness we experience during this sweet season. We seem to automatically detach from many of our rituals and habits of the darker, chillier months

I wonder what lightness we could feel in our lives if we were able to detach from many of the habits and rituals we consciously or unconsciously practice. What obligations are you carrying around which weigh you down? What are you saying "yes" to these days that prevents you from using your time in a way that is completely satisfying to you and to those you love? What are you doing unconsciously because the world suggests it is the way things are done? What are you so attached to that, without it, you think you wouldn't exist in a valuable way? Musing over these questions, maybe even answering them with brutal honesty and taking action, could be a way to "lighten up" a bit . . . so that you can be more of who you really want to be in the world.

Here is a filter which might help you take a step towards lightening the load of obligation, resentment, and attachment. Pema Chodron, a Buddhist nun and teacher says, "When you do not seek or need external approval, you are at your most powerful." If you were to take Pema's quote to heart, what would you stop doing right now? What would you start doing right now? And, what would living in that way give you?

Lightening up is a path to more joy, more authenticity, and more energy to create what is truly important to you. I'll venture a guess that when you are lighter emotionally and mentally, your light shines brighter for everyone around you.

First official FRIENDRAISER

At our Spring Retreat, Tricia Schulte and Amanda Strauss unrolled the design for FriendRaising, complete with a sample invitation, invite list, script for a house party and forms for guests to fill out. The purpose for hosting a gathering of your own is to raise awareness about One to One, inform potential referral sources, and raise funds to support our organization. Susie Strauss and I decided to take advantage of a built-in time slot for some of our friends. We belong to a writing group called Women Writing (for a change) – pun intended. Our last class of the semester was approaching so we told our friends that we would be sending them an invitation to come and learn about an organization that we are passionate about. Susie sent an E-Vite which made it easy to see who was coming. We explained to anyone we spoke to that there would be an opportunity to make a contribution (at the party or at a later date) but none was necessary. We met at Susie’s home and offered coffee and iced tea plus muffins, cheese and crackers, and veggies with dip. We had seven guests.

We began with our personal stories of involvement in One to One. Then we showed the DVD and entertained questions. Our group included women who care deeply about women and the conversation was lively. There was interest in our clients but also the organization itself – particularly that it is designed and run by women for women.

What we learned:

1. It is EASY to generate excitement about One to One – particularly using the elegantly designed template created by Trish and Amanda.
2. Move swiftly to the DVD – it answers most of the basic questions that people are curious about and leaves time for them to ask the unanswered questions which leads to a deeper exchange.
3. The dreaded “ask” (for those of us who avoid fund raising) flowed naturally and our guests DID contribute generously. The fact that they knew and we knew it would have been a success merely to have spread the word removed any awkwardness or pressure.

Next week we have a second gathering scheduled. My daughter is a social worker at Children’s Hospital here in Birmingham. After hearing about the Friend-Raisers, she asked me if we would invite her staff to come and learn about One to One. She sent an e-vite to her staff making the connection between us evident. This will no doubt have a different feel since we don’t know the group personally, but they work with women in dire straits all day every day. I look forward to learning from them about the needs that they see. We are meeting after work for a wine and cheese party. Feedback to follow…..

Meredith A. Titus

2010 Annual Coaches Retreat

The 2010 Coaches’ Professional Development Weekend was a huge success, thanks to all those who helped plan and facilitate, as well our wonderful attendees. From the lovely connections made between new friends and old, the “dangerous” trainings, the wild dance party, to the delicious food and nurturing provided by the staff at Blue Springs Manor, the weekend together supported us in filling ourselves up so that we may continue to provide our awesome service as OtO coaches. We hope to see those we missed this year at next year’s CPDW!

- Coco Rosenblatt-Farrell

Walking My Talk

This has been a very snowy winter all around the country, and particularly for us here in North Carolina, where a typical winter's snowfall is about 2 inches or less. We had a couple of days with impassible streets and many more with not much to speak of on the roads, but schools still cancelled or opening late. My son Harrison enjoyed sledding in our backyard and having our dog, Jake, pretend he was Balto, the sled dog. The snow was beautiful to look at and fun to play in, but after a few days even Harrison was getting tired of it. Twice, I drove him to school on seemingly clear roads only to find that schools were opening late - no doubt due to icier roads somewhere else in the county. I fell into a loop of complaining and grumbling - about the wimpy Southern drivers and the overly-cautious school officials, all of whom were throwing a monkey wrench into my plans for the day. It took me more than a week, but I finally heard myself - going on and on about something that wasn't the end of the world and that I couldn't control anyhow. I was definitely not walking my talk. Whether each and every closing or delay was warranted was beside the point. I wasn't behaving in a very constructive way. Once I realized what I was doing, it didn't take long before I had found ways to stop being a victim to the circumstances and was back to enjoying life as it was. Knowing an empowering way to live and actually doing it don't always go hand in hand 100% of the time, but having some tools and belief systems that work for you can make the time it takes you to self-correct a little shorter. It's only early March and we may not be out of the woods yet as far as snowy weather goes, but if we do get any more, at least I'll have a better attitude about it. I've also learned another valuable lesson - to check in on the school schedule before heading out the door, no matter how bright the sun or how the clear the roads around my neighborhood.

Laura G. Luykx, One to One Coach

Writing a Case for Peer Supervision

Scary, risking, being vulnerable
Building self-responsibility muscle
Release to nail the anxiety.... AND THEN
Supported by a strong safety net
Learning again about my humanity
Fueling to go back into session
Where client (and I ) SOAR
Also, deepening support with fellow coaches
Manifesting an act toward wholeness

By Caryn Corenblum

Welcome to the 2010 OtO Board!

Each year at this time, there is a lot of excitement for the OtO board as new members are welcomed and transitioned to the board and its functions. So meet the 2010 OtO board members - Anna Dailey, Elizabeth Fowler, Zoe Hamstead, Susan Hayward, Penny Hazen, Tricia Schulte, Susie Strauss, Marti Woodward and Lyn Young.

Anna is our ‘silent’ board member. She is an attorney in West Virginia and acts as an outside observer to the activities of the board and One to One as a whole.

Elizabeth, a board member since 2008, has brought her commitment to professionalism to the board. She is the chairperson of the Professionalism Committee and organized the Peer Supervision groups, assisted in the restructuring of the OtO mentoring and the review of OtO client and coach paperwork.

Zoe, a former client, has just joined the board this February. She hails from North Carolina and is presently residing in Chicago with her husband Sean. She will be formerly introduced in the March newsletter.

Susan, a former board member for 3 years, has just rejoined the board. She is the board liaison with the Coaches Professional Development Committee and is a very active member of the Fundraising Committee and Professionalism Committee. She led the effort to create and execute the Life by Design workshops.

Penny, a board member since 2008, has taken on the co-chair of the Marketing Committee. She was one of a couple of individuals who develop the Life by Design Workshop.

Tricia joined the board in 2009 and is the co-chairperson of the Fundraising Committee and Marketing Committee. She brings her previous experience with non-profits and fund development to OtO and the board.

Susie, co-founder and director of OtO, has held the vision of OtO from the beginning and co-chairs the Fundraising Committee and actively participates in several other committees.

Marti, a OtO board member since the board was formed in 2005, is the chairperson of the Training Committee and is an active participant on the Professionalism Committee. She is also the individual who spearheaded the creation and development of the OtO Coaching Model.

Lynn has joined the board as of February 2010. She lives in Colorado Springs, CO with her husband. She has had coach training and community organizing experience. She will be formally introduced in the March newsletter.

The board meets every month on a 1 ½ hour conference call to discuss administrative, financial, training, marketing, professionalism and fundraising matters. And we meet for 1 ½ days for a board retreat right after the Coaches Professional Development Weekend. Please meet and greet our new and present board members at the CPDW!!!

- Susie

One to One Client Reflects

One to One, Women Coaching Women, is a service that is so valuable I’d like to tell every woman, young and old of its worth.

No matter your age, the obstacles you face, or the goals you have, a certified, licensed coach can help you work through to a much higher level of success.

When I first became aware of One to One, I immediately began making contacts for someone from their organization to come to our small town to hold a workshop. I could think of many women who would benefit from this service.

A date was set and preparations were made for the workshop. Before the workshop date arrived I landed in the local ER and the next day moved to the Asheville Heart Tower. From a knee injury, blood clots had moved to my heart and lungs.

A few weeks after I got home I began Physical Therapy. My body was beginning to move around easier but I felt like my mind was flat-lined. How would I ever get back up and work, how would I continue anything? I knew I would never be able to fill my days with the negativity of television. It looked like a long road of recovery ahead.

I had the manuscript of my first novel in my computer but did not know how to go about self-publishing. This was my opportunity to begin working on it, but it seemed too big a task to think about.

Then I remembered One to One, and the workshop that had been cancelled, so I called Susie Strauss and asked to be considered for coaching sessions. She set up a conference call with the perfect coach for me.

I knew from the start that Susan (my coach) would provide just the motivational push I needed. In our sessions each week, Susan would keep me focused on necessary steps to move me forward in three major areas; my novel, health, and returning to social life.

With Susan cheering me on, and my good friend, Ronda, helping me with all the technical steps to self-publish, I now have my first novel published.

I am so very grateful for the services of One to One. I knew I needed what they offered and I could never have afforded that kind of mental and emotional support any other way.

Thank you, Susan, Susie, and all of One to One, Women Coaching Women.

Alice Blanton

Author: Tell Me No Lies

Little Bit Publishing

November 2009